Sunday, October 5, 2008


I am.

The thing is that what passes for okay really isn't.

So, there are times when I don't know what is happening.

Times when it seems like God is throwing me curve, two, ten all at the same time.

I feel settled and unsettled.

Yesterday I had a moment. At Walmart. Complete, people, children, tents, buggies, strollers, craziness. And I walked out into it and it all stopped for one moment and it was like a got a push on my left side. NOt a rough push (and there wasn't a push) but a nudge that said "look this way!!" and so I did. And there he a town that isn't our town. And how I saw him in all that, I just don't know.

But, the nudge is what interests me. Where does that come from? I believe it's energy...but is it my energy tuned into him and therefore engaging me? Or is it our energy bumping into each other and saying "wake up!"

I know it all sounds crazy. But, I get settled into an idea and then something like this happens and I get all unsettled again.

It shouldn't, but it does.

Who is he in my stupid life anyway? Here for what reason or duration? I just don't know and I want to know.

Then, again, they say that you can find everything at Walmart.