Thursday, January 10, 2008

Self-Awareness and a foggy Thursday

I sometimes believe that a day begins with some purpose, and being often sets that off course. It can, on occasion happen to be a better ending than the original plan. I began the morning praying for rain. We need it...but my motive was more selfish...I wanted to not have to walk. It was dry for the most part and we (my friend and I, plus two lovely mutts) set out down the dirt road on our daily jaunt. Always by the first 500 feet, I am glad to be there. The stars above, the air crisp, the gravel crunching lightly under sneakers, my friend happily recounting her day, yesterday. And today was no different. My mood picked up, my senses got stirred...I was happy to be up early and out in the dark morning air. What's funny how much I dreaded the day this morning. Coming out of a bad day yesterday...I just wasn't sure I could muster the energy for another one. And today was by no means a great day, in my list of great days. There are a couple headaches that I cannot seem to shake at work...and my friends are still in a hard place so I worry about them. But, some decision was made in those early wee hours that had everything to do with how I would take the day ahead. How I would sift through it, and at 5pm, how I would leave some of it behind. Something that I didn't do the day before. I believe that taking care of the good ways, in the ways that one should parent her thoughts, ideas, her doesn't come naturally. But, this much is true...I am the only one to do it, because I am the only one with the answers about me. Sometimes that is more heart-heavy...but today, it feels just froggy. :)

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