Friday, June 20, 2008

Amber

I've been awfully silent, haven't I? One post this week and it's Friday! Good grief, aren't I full of myself??? It was a hard week at work, and I won't go into that. It just was. Tonight, I nearly had my shag bathroom rugs stolen from the laundr-o-mat because I left them alone too long. Thank goodness, a gallant young man came to my defense and saved them from the thief. (For you, Leslie, it was TErry - first time he has spoken to me in YEARS). I've been an exercise fanatic, totaling up to 6 miles per day between walking, biking and running. The dog is even giving out on me. It does make me feel better though. As though I am accomplishing something.

I don't love my job right now. And I should. I am very worried about that fact. It will be ignored because there is no time to think about it, I am at the wire. And this bird can't be sitting. I wish I didn't feel this way and think it is most likely a culmination of "will I ever meet someone here to have a relationship with?", "can I make a good life for myself here if I am alone?" and "the powers that be are REALLY PISSING ME OFF". So, back burner. I am ignoring the complete DREAD that comes from even considering seeing that place on Sunday. And I know some folks live this daily. But, I adore this place and I have ten people a week tell me what a sweet cool job I have. And it's all true. Just some pot holes.

There's no exciting news. I put some plants at the water wheel house. I found some verbena half price at Wal-mart and it looks so pretty. I mowed the lawn. I did laundry. I uploaded new tunes to the IPOD. I got the ingredients for Gazpacho.

I am invited to a goddess fair on Sunday. And I feel so unlike a goddess right now that it is probably the very best place for me to be. My friend Angela, who is by her very nature sweet and angelic like a child has invited me with her and her husband and maybe another girlfriend. I like a quiet Sunday. But, I keep preaching the get out and do new things...so I should make myself do it. It's a free ride and the fair is free. And other wise I will come home and mope.
Because that's what I've been doing lately. Moping. And I hate even the sound of that word, much less the thought of the action. But, there it is. My new favorite pastime. Moping.

I am going to a solstice party tomorrow night. I will look forward to it until tommorrow afternoon when I will become certain that I should not go. My friend Trinity though, will be here to get me, regardless of what charges I make. So, I will be going - possibly JOsh too. The boys of my life.

And I am planning a hike with Bently tomorrow. He deserves a treat from me. I mean, he spends the summer in a crate. So, I think we're heading to sTone Mountain, NC. One of my favorite favorite places. We went once last year. It's a state park, but you can find quiet spots.

Alright, I should finish my Woodchuck Draft Cider. If you haven't tried one, do it. It's so refreshing. And if you've just come back from a 2 mile run and had no dinner, you can get a slight buzz from half a bottle!

3 comments:

Michael said...

I can sure feel you about hating your job...sigh....

I think you have the right approach. Go out, even when you don't feel up to it, and in forcing yourself to be public, force yourself into a better mental place.

As for me, it's just back to work.

Leslie Shelor said...

You were so beautiful at the Solstice Party; so glad to see you there. And wild about the rugs and Terry to the rescue!

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

I love my job....I am a stay at home mom and although at times (more times than not) I would like to purrrsonally strangle the lil' suckers, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Been there and done that and I love being home as opposed to running a company.

How much can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood chuck chuck.