Monday, June 9, 2008


I feel like I should let you know how it went. I mean, after all, fashion addict is holding her breath and she seems like such a nice girl, so I should stop the madness.

It didn't go.

And the twists and turns of this whole story make it impossible to explain more fully, without laying blame where it might or might not lie, or hurting people who may or may not be innocent, or just sounding like I don't want it to be me, so let's blame someone else.

The final word, found by Leslie after much frustration and confusion, was that the mechanic is healing from a breakup recent, and will just be going it "alone" for a while.

So, I am sad...I can't help it. It takes so much for me to generate interest in something that causes me so much complete terror. And well, the philosopher in me has taken this far and wide and hurtful. But, I am attempting to get to a place of just moving on. I want to lay quiet on the floor of the pond, like a big fat catfish and just blow bubbles, eat and avoid hooks or funny looking worms. But, I don't have a job that will allow that. And I don't have a life that will allow me not to have a job.

Plus, catfish quite often get chewed up, and that wouldn't be very good at all.


Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

There were monstrous catfish in this pond thingy in NE that I used to walk around....they would lay close to shore and then when you would walk around the loop they would get spooked and splash and take off.....I called them SEA MONSTERS and no one believed me that they is a hard knock life. Someone's got to live it.

k said...

Yep, they do get pretty big and scary sometimes. My friend has them in her pond and they look HUGE!

fashionaddict said...

Well, I can breathe now :)

I think it would have been sadder if you hadn't mustered up the interest at all; but this is just a personal view, I know everyone's different.

(By the way, it's quite beside the point, I wished I could write like you did.)

Michael said...

Amen to that, too.

I'm getting a chance to be a little catfishhy now, recuperating from my stay in hospital.

Watching UEFA on ESPN, Austria against Poland, cool drink at my side.

I'm sorry it didn't come through for you.

I married at 23, so I never got a chance to be single at around the age I am now. Clearly, it must be dramatically different, at least in the sense that you are virtually guaranteed that anyone you meet in your thirties and beyond is fairly likely to have, if not ex spouses, heavy scarring from one or more previous relationships.

I could say something stupid like "there are other fish in the sea", but you're too smart for that.

Just keep breathing. If one day at a time is too much, try one hour. If an hour is too much, try one minute. If even a minute is too much, just try to get through this breath. Once you've done that, worry about the next one.

k said...

God, you guys are so great. I wish we could get together for drinks every Friday night. Thank you. It's the whole getting your hopes dashed against the jagged rocks thing that gets you. I know it's small in the scheme of things (Michael - hospital??!!) but it always feels big for a little bit. Thanks for being so compassionate, it is a wonderful gift, and I appreciate it greatly.