Sunday, February 24, 2008


I believe it to be centered in the heart. Not the pulsing organ that pumps our blood. But, the middle of each one of us. That part so sheltered that we, some of us, never quite get it. And for some of us, it would be too unbridled and consuming. While others of us might enjoy being consumed, might choose to run without moderation in the direction that energy takes us. For a very few of us, it is the essence of who we are, and when we turn away from it, we become lost. I guess that for those of us who suffer that particular ill, if one could call it that, we should hope that living gives us options. That the movement forward will provide substantial companionship. It is difficult though, to have faith and to believe in what so few are able to even sense. Yet, there are those who do it. Those who were born to do it. And failingly, I believe I am of that sort. My tool box is only yet beginning to be filled. I waited a very long time to be like everyone else. I still see such greatness in others, that I do not see in myself. Yet, I am not them. I do not have the power to be. I am not weak enough to follow the herd.
Sometimes I imagine that the real depths of humanity exist even as humans deny them. That we are all the same deep down. And in some ways, I still believe that. But, denial is such a powerful force. And this world becomes so easily jaded.
What I have forgotten to say for a long time is "what if?" And the answer is.... Well, quite blessedly, there is no answer, only possibility.

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