I attended a funeral today. Not someone I know well, but the son of someone that I know (and work with sometimes). My boss asked me to go with her, and so I did. I'm not normally the funeral type. I did not grow up learning the etiquette and therefore am poor at it. I always ask friends of friends "should I go?" and they say no when they could mean "what are you thinking, of course!" or they could mean "are you really that stupid????" or they could mean "no". And since I am basically an honest person, I take them at their response.
This wasn't the norm...a man younger than me. Leaving a wife and young child, a mother father and sister, a grandmother and many friends. He took his own life. And I understand that, but I never ever understand that. Because it leaves everyone in your life asking themselves questions about what they might have said, done or acted differently. I know I've written about this before. I didn't think I would revisit it this soon. Life surprises you.
It was the saddest place. And I pick up emotion from others. I am super-sensitive in that way. I have to be careful because it can overwhelm me. When I walked through the doors, the grief hit me like a wall. And there were so many tears, so much unrest about this young man. I think his mama is one of the best folks I've yet known. I can't imagine the pain she is suffering. Just seeing her lean against her husband took my breath away.
We are all so fragile, and I forget that sometimes. Too often. I don't know that Damon's path could have been changed. But he's made me remember to pay attention to how I consider the people in my life that might be hurting or scared or melting away inside. Stop and listen to really hear the story. It was a pretty sad afternoon.